FAITH (1981)

the holy hour

primary

other voices

all cats are grey

the funeral party

doubt

the drowning man

faith

 

The Holy Hour

 

I kneel and wait in silence

As one by one the people slip away

Into the night

The quiet and empty bodies

Kiss the ground before they pray

Kiss the ground

And slip away...

 

I sit and listen dreamlessly

A promise of salvation makes me stay

Then look at your face

And feel my heart pushed in

As all around the children play

The games they tired of yesterday

They play

 

I stand and hear my voice

Cry out

A wordless scream at ancient power

It breaks against stone

I softly leave you crying...

 

I cannot hold what you devour

The sacrifice of penance

In the holy hour

Primary

 

The innocence of sleeping children

Dressed in white

And slowly dreaming

Stops all time

I slow my steps and start to blur

So many years have filled my heart

I never thought I'd say those words

 

The further we go

And older we grow

The more we know

The less we show

 

The very first time I saw your face

I thought of a song

And quickly changed the tune

The very first time I touched your skin

I thought of a story

And rushed to reach the end

Too soon

 

Oh remember

Please

Don't change

 

And so the fall came

Thirteen years

A shiny ring

And how I could forget your name

The air no longer in my throat

Another perfect lie is choked

But it always feels the same

 

So they close together

Dressed in red and yellow

Innocent forever

Sleeping children in their blue soft rooms

Still dream...

Other Voices

 

Whisper your name in an empty room

You brush past my skin

As soft as fur

Taking hold

I taste your scent

Distant noises

Other voices

Pounding in my broken head

Commit the sin

Commit yourself

And all the other voices said

Change your mind

You're always wrong

 

Come around at Christmas

I really have to see you

Smile at me slyly

Another festive compromise

But I live with desertion

And eight million people

Distant noises

Other voices

Pulsing in my swinging arms

Caress the sound

So many dead

And all the other voices said

Change your mind

You're always wrong

All Cats Are Grey

 

I never thought that I would find myself

In bed amongst the stones

The columns are all men

Begging to crush me

No shapes sail on the dark deep lakes

And no flags wave me home

 

In the caves

All cats are grey

In the caves

The textures coat my skin

In the death cell

A single note

Rings on and on and on...

The Funeral Party

 

Two pale figures

Ache in silence

Timeless

In the quiet ground

Side by side

In age and sadness

 

I watched

And acted wordlessly

As piece by piece

You performed your story

Moving through an unknown past

Dancing at the funeral party

 

Memories of children's' dreams

Lie lifeless

Fading

Lifeless

Hand in hand with fear and shadows

Crying at the funeral party

 

I heard a song

And turned away

As piece by piece

You performed your story

Noiselessly across the floor

Dancing at the funeral party

Doubt

 

Stop my flight to fight

And die

And take a stand to change my life

So savage with red desperation

I clench my hands

You draw your claws

A hidden rage consumes my heart

As fuelled by years of wasted time

I close my eyes

And tense myself

And screaming

Throw myself in fury over the edge

And into your blood

 

Tear at flesh

And rip at skin

And smash at doubt

I have to break you

Fury drives my vicious blows

I see you fall but still I strike you

Again and again

Your body falls

The movement is sharp and clear and pure

And gone

I stop and kneel beside you

Drained of everything but pain

 

Screaming throw myself in fury

Over the edge and into your blood

 

Kiss you once and see you writhe

Hold you close and hear you cry

Kiss your eyes and finish your life

Finish your life

 

Again and again

Your body falls

The movement is sharp and clear and pure

And gone

I stop and kneel beside you

Knowing I'll murder you again tonight

The Drowning Man

 

She stands twelve feet above the flood

She stares

Alone

Across the water

 

The loneliness grows and slowly

Fills her frozen body

Sliding downwards

 

One by one her senses die

The memories fade

And leave her eyes

Still seeing worlds that never were

And one by one the bright birds leave her...

 

Starting at the violent sound

She tries to turn

But final

Noiseless

Slips and strikes her soft dark head

 

The water bows

Receives her

And drowns her at its ease...

 

I would have left the world all bleeding

Could I only help you love

The fleeting shapes

So many years ago

So young and beautiful and brave

 

Everything was true

It couldn't be a story...

I wish it was all true

I wish it couldn't be a story

 

The words all left me

Lifeless

Hoping

Breathing like the drowning man

 

Oh Fuschia!

You leave me

Breathing like the drowning man

Breathing like the drowning man

Faith

 

Catch me if I fall

I'm losing hold

I can't just carry on this way

And every time

I turn away

Lose another blind game

The idea of perfection holds me...

Suddenly I see you change

Everything at once

The same

But the mountain never moves...

 

Rape me like a child

Christened in blood

Painted like an unknown saint

There's nothing left but hope...

Your voice is dead

And old

And always empty

Trust in me through closing years

Perfect moments wait...

If only we could stay

Please

Say the right words

Or cry like the stone white clown

And stand

Lost forever in a happy crowd...

 

No-one lifts their hands

No-one lifts their eyes

Justified with empty words

The party just gets better and better...

 

I went away alone

With nothing left

But faith